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"What if This is All Meant to Strengthen Me?"

What if?

What if this is all meant to strengthen you?

Can you connect with that idea? When you meet a challenging time, can you try and frame it as, “I believe this is all meant to strengthen me.”?

If not, that is okay! We do not ever need to force ourselves to believe ideas we do not connect with. Forcing only causes the nervous system to believe there is more danger. So if this does not resonate with you, let that be okay.

But over time, do you think you can you try and slowly encourage yourself to connect with the idea that this is all might be happening for a greater purpose? (Even if only because you know that believing so helps regulate the nervous system?)

Could it be that there are greater plans intended for you? And this challenging time is merely a stepping stone to get you closer to where these greater plans are taking you?

Could this time be designed purposefully in order to show you how resilient you really are? To cultivate and encourage the development of your inner strengths? To prove to you how much you are actually capable of? To make you aware of what you have been ignoring for a long time? To allow you to see where you still need to heal? And to shed light on areas where you can still grow?

Whether you believe this could be true or not, whether you believe in a greater purpose or not (I am still finding what I truly believe) this kind of an outlook/perspective can give us so much.

Hope, optimism, faith in the process, a sense of greater purpose, a boost of emotional energy, a sense of peace, the ability to surrender...

Even if we do not wholeheartedly know where we stand with the idea of a greater purpose, encouraging ourselves to think this way still elevates us out of our own self-pity...It enables us to reexamine our circumstances, and possibly to see them in a new light.

From my perspective, as someone who coaches my clients through their most challenging times, I wish every single one of them could look at their challenges through the lens of: "This is meant to strengthen me."

Because it does give us a strength and a confidence that we cannot find elsewhere.


Next time you feel the emotional and/or physical challenges of an imbalanced nervous system, try to come at your symptoms with the perspective that they are meant to serve you.

Maybe try and see them as being here for an important purpose, possibly stemming from any of the following ideas:

To strengthen you, teach you patience, to show you what you are capable of, make you aware of what you have been ignoring for a long time, allow you to see where you still need to heal, give you belief in your abilities, help you grow resilience, encourage the growth of your inner-strengths, make you aware of where you could be surrendering, or to shed light on areas you could attend to in order to grow into the happiest version of yourself.

If you can try and frame this as a blessing rather than a curse, your inner world transforms.

Along with that, if you can keep this perspective for a few days more, you may start to notice transformation within your outer world as well.

Because this perspective allows us to step out of the mindset that we are at the mercy of our nervous system, and allows us to interact with life in a much different way. We then see improvement in our ability to cope and regulate, and that develops into being able to find joy and enchantment again in life. We then notice growth in our interactions with others, and changes in our ability to find peace in seemingly difficult circumstances.

My last thought is this:

When we look at this experience as if it is meant to teach us something rather than cause us suffering, we change the actual physical structure of our brain.

Think about that, this is an incredible thought! Any time we engage in inner dialogue that is different from the pattern we USED to engage in, our physical brain changes. That in and of itself is amazing.

But....if we can encourage the conversation in our minds to become philosophical, spiritual, detailed, intricate, involved, etc., well that is an added bonus because encouraging ourselves to ELABORATE on this new perspective causes us to withdraw the energy/attention/emotion from the old ways of thinking for EXTENDED periods of time.

Changing our perspective and then spending time on the new perspective prunes away the old pathways that we normally would have engaged in, and then, as we engage in the new philosophical/spiritual/detailed/intricate/involved conversations inside our own minds, we immensely change our brain structure.


What if this is all meant to strengthen you?

What if?

About The Author:

My name is Tessa Malcarne. 8 years ago, I healed from numerous ‘mysterious’ (or ’invisible’) health conditions that I had experienced since childhood.

Today, it is my mission to guide others through the process of healing themselves from similar experiences.

Once healed from what some describe as ‘chronic’ illness, I became a certified neuroplasticity coach through a leading brain-retraining program and coached within that program for 5 years. During that time, I met with hundreds of clients and listened intently to their individual experiences. Having the opportunity to coach so many has built my vast database of knowledge within the world of nervous/limbic system imbalances.

After 5 years of coaching within a brain-retraining program, I decided to leave the structured-approach to brain-retraining and instead coach within the constructs of my choosing.

My coaching philosophy is unique since I do not believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to healing. Through coaching hundreds of clients to date, I have concluded that we each need a tailored approach; particular to each individual person and what that person has experienced in his/her lifetime. This is due to the fact that although every individual may consist of a brain and body, when it comes to past experiences, we all come from immeasurably diverse circumstances. When we look at past traumas and stressors, life experiences, family structures, cultures, belief systems, passions, likes and dislikes, etc. etc. one can see that we all come from vastly different worlds. This means that each person’s nervous system is imbalanced in its own unique way, and needs to be looked at as such. Therefore, no one plan is going to heal every person, even those with similar conditions.

My approach to rebalancing the nervous system involves looking at each client’s individual experiences to develop a plan that will soothe, nourish, calm, and settle his/her nervous system.

If you would like to get in touch with me for neuroplasticity consulting, please see my website, :)

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