Once upon a time in a coaching session,
My client and I were looking at his values so that we could do a value realignment process.
I shared with him that our values are evident in the way we live,
Because they guide the way we live and the choices we make.
This client loved health and nutrition, and mindset too.
He was starting a coaching business. This guy was super dedicated to his health – he was up at 3:30 or 4am each day and in the gym, challenging himself physically and mentally to become stronger and fitter all the time. He had a job and money coming in, but was in tens of thousands of dollars of debt (all for personal development courses – including my coaching) and living in his car. Despite his debts, he still bought nutritious, high-quality food for himself, even though - if memory serves me - his work supplied some "OK" meals. He was ambitious and determined to change his circumstances.
When I asked him to look at his life and list out what was most important to him, above all else, (which is something I ask people in order to determine their values), one of the first things he said was “money”. Now, I get where he was coming from, it was important for him to have money in order to survive and pay his debts down, but this was more a desire than a value.
If having money in the bank or building wealth were really, REALLY important to him and something he valued at his core, he probably wouldn’t:
- take on loads of debt that didn’t offer a monetary return on investment
- prioritise buying organic foods, supplements and doing personal and professional development
- be unable to afford housing
At the top of his values list, I saw health, I saw wellbeing, I saw growth & development, discipline and structure among other things. Back then, I was helping people to kind of “install” values (like money) into their mind and nervous system so that it was important to them and did guide their decisions.
Nowadays, I feel that’s kinda just running from the truth in a way, because while the process worked to an extent, his other highest values were still there, and if he didn’t make a habit of prioritising an accumulation of money, it wouldn’t take much for them to start bumping money back out of first, second and third position til it was back down the ranks. Values can’t be buried without consequence, and eventually they will reveal themselves.
So, what does this have to do with your life or your brain retraining?
A lot. Your values are possibly “in the way” of what you have planned (because you haven’t aligned your plans with your values). Maybe you value creativity way more than you value discipline and sticking to the rules, and therefore you feel restricted by your practice and resistant to doing it.
Maybe you value community and you feel isolated or alone in doing your brain retraining.
Maybe your visualisations don’t FEEL exciting or inspiring because what you’re imagining doesn’t sit with your highest core values, and then you feel like it’s pointless, or “not working”, or feel like somehow you’re “doing it wrong”, because you don’t feel it the same way your brain retraining pals seem to, or that Instagram post said you should.
Maybe your values are distracting you from being as disciplined or focused on your practice as you'd like to be (eg. your value of "fun" may have you procrastinating on things that seem mundane or boring).
You'll always live in alignment with your values, and there’s always a way to live in a more empowered and harmonious flow with your values, and it doesn’t mean flushing your goals or ambitions down the toilet.
Right now, take out a pen and paper and write down the things that matter most to you - as I mentioned before, zooming out and observing your life is a great way to get clear on this.
Getting clear on your values is step one - Did you discover something? Step two is getting creative with how to work with these and use them to enhance your life and brain training - allow playful, "silly" and innovative ideas to flow, you may just stumble upon some great ideas! Step three is implementing your plan and enjoying living and retraining in more harmony with your values!
In Elevate Brain Retraining 2.0, Lindsay Mitchell, founder of Vital-Side & I help you to uncover your core values and use them to your benefit in your retraining practice. We also look at core beliefs, which dictate and guide much of our lives from a deep subconscious level too.
The program focuses on helping retrainers to personalize their practice to suit their present life, desires and needs, all while boosting their levels of purpose and play.
If you’d love to find out more, check out Elevate HERE.
Whether you come Elevate with us or not, I'd love to hear about how you went with this process! Comment below, email me - bianca@biancaspears.com or DM me on Insta!
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ELEVATE Brain retraining 2.0 Want to refresh your brain retraining practice, uncover the essence of you and start living into dreams and goals as you rewire? I created Elevate with Lindsay Mitchell (founder of Vital-Side) to help brain retrainers to bring more passion, purpose and play to their newly personalized practice. Find out more or get started here. You can also check out my website for more on me, my coaching and other ways to work and play together - https://biancaspears.com