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Dear Candy - Looking for the silver lining or deeper meaning in our experiences

Today's blog isn't so much about a question as it is about something I wish to share with you.

When we have difficult experiences, it is not uncommon for people to ask, "why?" or "why me?" And when we are in the midst of that experience we can't always find a deeper meaning or bigger picture perspective.

When I look back at my journey toward recovery, I can see that I would often try to understand why it was happening to me. I would try to be open to learning whatever it was that I maybe needed to learn in order to move forward on my life path, and I would get so frustrated at times when I didn't feel like I was going anywhere despite my efforts. It wasn't until after I recovered that I was able to see a deeper meaning or purpose of that experience. Without going through that, I would have never gotten into coaching and supporting others on their journey to recovery. I might have learned about neuroplasticity somewhere along the way as a therapist, but it wouldn't be the foundation of my work. Without a setback, my quest to understand the nervous system and cultivate resilience would not be front and center, and my understanding into human nature would not be what it is today. I truly believe cultivating resilience and regulating the brain and nervous system are the foundations for thriving in life and being able to sustain wellbeing on an ongoing basis, despite what life throws at you.

And for that I am so grateful. I love what I do. I feel very humbled and privileged that I can support people in their recovery process and work in a way that is meaningful and contributes to the wellbeing of others. I am grateful to DNRS & Joe Dispenza, to Dr. Norman Doidge, to Positive Psychology, to Dr. Stephen Porges & the Safe & Sound Protocol. Each of these people and programs have played a vital role in getting me to where I am today. Although I would never wish my experiences of initial injury and setbacks on anyone, I can now see how it has shaped who I am today. It has also had a huge influence on who my son had become, how he views the world, and what he wants to do with his life. That fills my heart with joy because I know that he too is going to do what he can to contribute to the wellbeing of others, in his own way.

My point is, when you are in those dark places and nothing seems to make sense and you just want it to be over, consider that there may be a silver lining or deeper meaning that we simply cannot yet see. You may get glimpses into what those are throughout your recovery or it may become clearer afterward. Either way, I have no doubt it is there for each and every one of you.

Best wishes!


If you have a question, please email me at


Candy Widdifield is Registered Clinical Counsellor, Wellness Coach, and Registered Reiki Master Teacher in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. She works with people all over the world, helping them to optimize their wellbeing and thrive in their lives. Her modalities include coaching, therapy, Reiki and the Safe & Sound Protocol. More information about Candy can be found at

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