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Dear Candy - The importance of acting "as if" until it becomes a reality

Today's question is regarding individuals who don't feel the positive feelings yet - whether they get benefits from pretending or acting "as if" until they actually start to feel the DOSE neurochemistry (aka the happy-feel-good feelings).

We've all heard of the saying, "Fake it until you make it." With the expansion of understanding of neuroplasticity & how the brain works, and the increased understanding about the quantum field, we begin to realize just how important this actually is to our process of healing and moving forward.

That being said, there is a difference between just pretending, (while on the inside not feeling or believing it's even possible), and genuinely attempting to shift our emotional state into something more in alignment with wellbeing by acting "as if" its real. If you are going through the motions of pretending to be grateful, for example, while on the inside telling yourself "this is a load of crap" you are not going to reap benefits from the exercise. On the other hand, even if you're not really feeling the gratitude, if you are acting as if you are feeling grateful and your thoughts are in alignment with the idea of being grateful, there will be benefits. Over time your brain and neurochemistry will adapt and you will begin to genuinely access the emotional states you are cultivating.

According to Joe Dispenza, getting into the feeling state of what you are wanting to create in your life is key to bringing it into being (matter) from the field of infinite possibilities (energy). By acting "as-if" we are already healthy and well and living the life we want, we are sending out a signal to the universe that brings more of the same back to you.

If we want to stick with a more strictly brain science version of this, while pretending to feel the DOSE neurochemistry and acting as though you already feel that way, your brain begins to adapt and release those neurochemicals. Then we start feel it, and as we continue to practice and repeat the feeling of it, your brain produces more of those neurotransmitters, and adjusts to the new neurochemical cocktail that you are producing. The more we practice and spend time in this feeling state, the sooner it becomes our new normal. At this point, when the old way of feeling arises it feels unusual and is easier to catch and redirect. At the same time, by imagining ourselves healthy and well and seeing ourselves in various scenarios living our lives, we are preparing our brains for change. Remember the brain doesn't know the difference between the inner imagination and the external reality, so it begins to adapt to these possibilities as being your new way of being and it minimizes the stress response when you actually do start to do this things in the outer world.

Until you reach the point where you are genuinely feeling the emotions, it is helpful to think and act and mimic what you believe a person feeling those feelings would think and do. If you struggle with this, think of someone you know who lives in a positive state and emulate their thoughts and behaviours, remember back to a time where you felt that and emulate the thoughts and behaviours you had back then, or imagine what it would be like to live in that state and play it out. Trust the process and know that the more you work at it, the more it will become a genuine state for you.

Until next time!

Remember if you'd like to ask me questions please email me at:

Next Monday will be a Q & A for a bunch of the shorter answer questions I have been receiving, so stay tuned!


Candy Widdifield is Registered Clinical Counsellor, Wellness Coach, and Registered Reiki Master Teacher in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. She works with people all over the world, helping them to optimize their wellbeing and thrive in their lives. Her modalities include coaching, therapy, Reiki and the Safe & Sound Protocol. More information about Candy can be found at


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