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Dear Candy Q & A: The Silver Lining

Sorry this is late! I scheduled the post to upload on Monday but for some reason it didn't. Better late than never! :)

As we've touched on many times now, perspective is a huge part of brain retraining. Changing our perspective, trying to see things from a different perspective, and being open to other possible perspectives all play a role. When it comes to the condition(s) that brought you to brain retraining and the direction your life has taken since then, looking at the experience from a bigger picture perspective may help you to make sense of, and find, a deeper meaning in your experience. Often conditions that take us out of the autopilot of everyday life and cause us to pause, come into the present, and to change course have a silver lining associated with them. Perhaps we were getting off course of the meaning and purpose of our lives. Maybe we were living according to someone else's ideas and values as to what we should be doing instead of our own. Perhaps somewhere along the way we disconnected from a deep authentic relationship with ourselves in order to live by society's rules or to please others. Situations that cause us to stop and take stock provide an opportunity to reflect on the kind of life we are living and the kind of person we are being in the world, and to determine whether this really is true to who we are and how we want to be in the world. It is virtually impossible to recover and cultivate resilience without coming into a deeper, more authentic relationship with ourselves, at least to some degree. And we don't have to be fully recovered to start living from and expressing this truer version of ourselves. This is the silver lining. While from the outside (and to our inner critic) it might look like we are not making progress according to society's rules, we are not contributing enough externally, or are not on the path that others our age may be on, we are actually growing and evolving as individuals. We are becoming more balanced, truer to our essential nature, and it is from this place that we can contribute greatly to the world.

"Just because you're not doing what other people are doing, that doesn't mean you're failing or falling behind. You're charting your own course and staying true to yourself, even thought it would be easier to join the crowd. You're creating a life you can fall in love with instead of falling in line. You're finding the courage to do what's right for you, even though it is uncertain and scary and hard. Give yourself some credit, because these are all reasons to be proud." - Lori Deschene

Until next time!

If you have a question, please email me at


Candy Widdifield is Registered Clinical Counsellor, Wellness Coach, and Registered Reiki Master Teacher in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. She has a background in nervous system regulation, trauma, grief & loss, mindfulness, somatic therapy, & positive psychology. She taught the DNRS in-person program for 5 years, has over a decade of experience coaching brain re-trainers & provides mentorship to other coaches. Candy works with people all over the world, helping them to optimize their wellbeing and thrive in their lives. More information about Candy can be found at

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