Energy is a funny thing. It’s required for the many functions of life. From the small things like making a cup of tea, feeding the dog, or picking out our clothes for the day, to the larger endeavors like cleaning the house, performing at work or going to the gym. Sometimes with a Limbic System Injury, one that results in energy challenges, our brains try to convince us that there’s a set point to our output; that our energy is finite, something to be guarded, conserved or rationed. Those entrenched thought processes can and do create deeper grooves in the neural pathways the more we entertain them; all in the name of keeping us safe.
Those grooves serve as a beautiful protective mechanism, a roadmap that’s designed to preserve life and resources and important functions. At the same time, their purpose can be ultimately misplaced and depleting to our joy, freedom and sense of our selves. In our minds, gone are the days of running through the sprinklers on the front lawn like we did when we were kids or taking off for a weekend ski trip at a moment's notice; our excursions throughout the day are to be planned and calculated. Through retraining, we know that we can create a new path, one where we are running through the sprinklers of our childhood homes again in our minds. This, in fact, is one of my favorite brain retraining visualizations: On my front lawn, I’m wearing a faded pink ballet leotard, the prickly grass tickling my toes, the cool earth beneath my feet, the sweet smell of the leaves of the walnut tree wafting in the air, the sun casting a shimmering rainbow through the droplets of water, my wet hair, clinging to my cheek, all the while laughing and singing with unlimited freedom and spirit.
Through retraining, repressed energy is coaxed to the surface, lovingly and on purpose. It grows in fits and starts, in slow micro-steps, waxing and waning until we come to a point where we've forgotten it was even absent, like the pain of childbirth, the labor effort fades. Old memories trickle and burst back on the scene, and we recognize sweet, simple scenes that once were. We are in charge of the way we process the stimulus in our environment and we are more steady on our feet. We slowly reclaim that power that was, actually, there all along. I remember that my first improvements in my practice came in the form of increased energy and a sense of happiness. I've talked with several other retrainers where this was the case as well. It's as if we are lighter and lifted; the body is gently reminded of its own power and agency. Remembering and recommissioning our own unique ‘hallmark spark’ back into use is a beautiful turning point.
As our blueprint for unacknowledged physical expression begins to show its distinctive form, we can feel almost dizzy and wobbly. Like a fawn taking its first steps, into a new, strange world. How shall we use the newly recovered power? I celebrated with the flowing movement of yoga. Calming, slow and peaceful to start and then working up to more challenging, powerful and intentional poses. I took up space and moved about the world, (something that felt unsafe before) maybe for the first time since childhood. I really occupied my body and revived the fluidity, once effortless and constant, replacing the constriction that gripped me for so long. Taking a flight for pleasure for the first time in years and feeling, in my body, the command I had, of all the logistics that entailed. I had rediscovered the knowledge that I was capable and strong enough to handle whatever life would offer up, and trusted and embraced that flow.
Finally, I let go of the mask of false energy; the energy of a sympathetic nature or the fight or flight variety. The kind that drains and distracts. That busy energy addressed a need in myself or to serve others that only resulted in burning my light out, with no chance of finding the true energy source within. It was time to dissolve old patterns, letting go of control of situations and degrees of effort that I employed prior to true energy emerging. It was simply not needed and unproductive. What replaced it was pure heaven. I understood that true healing energy needs to be always in motion to counteract stagnation. The freedom to create and be creative and spontaneous with my time. To breathe. Whimsy became a thing again! To treasure the precious, juicy moments of my life. The gratitude and awe I felt of the hummingbird, which made a habit of visiting me outside my living room window with all its iridescence and sparkle, breaking out in-the-moment dance parties in the kitchen with my kids, hiking in the mountains near my home, feeling an ease and expansiveness with every exhale, and yes, an occasional leap through the sprinklers, feeling the cool, solid earth beneath my feet.
How does your energy emerge?
Dawn Minami a Certified Health Coach, HeartMath® and NLP Practitioner. She is also the mother of a family that spent the best part of a decade all living with Lyme disease. Having liberated not only herself, but also her husband and 3 children, she is now a passionate advocate for neuroplasticity, breaking free from our conditioning and building great health against the odds. Dawn is now making up for lost time pursuing yoga, hiking, singing and spending time in nature with her limbically challenged rescue boxer, Faith.